Heart soft enough to feel

I leave Haiti in one week to come back stateside for some rest. I haven’t been back since December 4th and even that trip was a whirlwind, fast turnaround fundraising trip for Streethearts. I am tired. I am emotionally and spiritually tired and looking forward to some time to be poured into and not constantly pouring myself out.  I’m so excited to see friends and family. I’m so excited for this chance to recharge… and I’m also including pictures to keep your attention 😉 
 
Hiking up to San Souci Palace with Evenson
 
sitting on cannons with my mom and 
step-dad (Shelley and Bill)
 
this picture was obviously candid. Our puppies need lots 
of cuddle time to socialize them to humans. 
They were alone in the mountains and are still 
scared of most people
Before I go, I really want to get little mini bio’s written about the kids for marketing purposes. I am sitting at my kitchen table this morning going through the folders with our kids backgrounds one at a time. I am reading and typing, reading and typing. Get it done mode. I turned on a playlist I put together for my sabbatical to Israel last spring and started singing along… then it hit me hard.  A flood of tears. Something so deep in my soul just felt so… so sad. I have become so calloused to so much of life here.
These kids I am here to work with and love on are so different from who they were that it is easy to forget the reason they were on the streets, what they went through… or maybe I’ve just become so hardened to the pain of a reality that was never mine because it’s too hard to imagine. It breaks my heart when I really think about it. Every time. No child, anywhere, should ever have to go through what these kids have gone through. And there are still so many kids living on the streets that don’t have the confidence to leave that life yet. What about them? When you see them, they are rough. I mean ROUGH! They talk rough, they act rough and they are dirty. They need love too. They say and do what they do to shock you so you won’t be disappointed in them or so when you tell them how rough or unwanted they are you won’t hurt them with words or neglect. We will never know the full details of all the things that really took place on the streets for our kids now and the kids still on the streets. We just have an idea. How can humans do these things to each other? to children?
 
hug attacked by the boys
 
work day at the house. taking a little 
break with Julio and Johnky
 
Giving a tour of the house to a group from Texas. 
perhaps I was saying “The spider was this big”

So sitting there crying, I think…I didn’t come here so I could be changed by the hardness of this place. I came here to love people even when it’s hard. Some days I feel like I fail. Some days I feel like God has a huge smile on his face and is really proud of me (even though it’s all His work in me anyway). Reality is, the hardness has changed me. In order to protect yourself you harden. I don’t want this. I am asking you all to pray for me, our staff and our kids. Pray Ezekiel 36:26 for us.  God says “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh”… I don’t want a hardened heart to protect me from what hurts or frustrates or what is difficult. I want Gods heart. I want that for our staff and our kids as well.
 
Thank you for your constant support and encouragement!! Much love to you all! I’ll leave you with this jewel of a picture. It’s been said that it will be used against me for embarrassment purposes… Not if I post it first 😉 muahahhahaha!!!

another candid of me singing in the back of 
Ti-Papi’s(my friend/driver) car… loud



 
 
 
 

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