3 weeks left brings a lot of thinking…

My entire journey in life leading up to Haiti is a miracle. I am a miracle. In reality we are all miracles. The way God works in each of our lives; the fact that we are alive; the way He provides for us even when we don’t see it… life is full of tiny back to back and overlapping miracles each day. I have been very pensive as of late regarding my time here and my walk with Jesus. If He took away everything I did not thank Him for… what would I have left?

Not that He would. The point is He is good and I am ungrateful most of the time.

The life He has given me is not extravagant, but it is sufficient. My life is wonderful because I have a God that loves me. He is a God big enough to make the entire world and all that is in it. and yet He loves me enough to die for me; an insignificant and often disobedient daughter. He loves me enough to care about the small details of my life…to be a lamp for my feet and a light for my path. He loves me enough to sing over me while I sleep, speak to me, to guide me and to shower me with peace when things don’t go according to MY plan.

Words can’t describe a relationship with Jesus; you must have one to understand the significance of it; the intimate details of it. Each relationship is different. He is a Father loving on each of his children. We are all made uniquely thus must be related to by him uniquely. But He knows. He knows me. He knows what I need. He always provides for my needs; not always my wants, but always my needs. He laughs with me, he cries with me, He rejoices with me. He corrects and teaches. He provides before I call out. In my weakness He is strong. Thus I hold fast to this faith I profess for He who promised is faithful.

I don’t know what is next. I know leaving this home where I have been loved and where I have loved will be hard. I know leaving these people that have taught me so much about Haiti and even more about Gods love will be tough. Leaving this family and these boys I have grown to love will be painful. But I know that God has a plan. His plans are good and loving and merciful. He is good always. I will thank God for the time I have had here. For the things I have learned. For the kindness that has been shown to me. I have 3 weeks left to soak in as many new memories as possible and then God will open new doors. Leaving is always bittersweet. I love my family here and am eternally grateful for the time I’ve had with them.

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